Mr. Vampire - Its a Love Hate Thing

Recently, at the request of my Darling Fuckpuppet, I saw the movie, Mr. Vampire - starring Lam Ching Ying, Chin Siu Ho and Ricky Hui.  I shit you not.  Ricky.  

The back of the DVD package says, 

"Master Ko (Lam Ching Ying, stuntmaster in Fist of Fury and Enter the Dragon) faces the daunting task of re-burying a rich man's father - in the hope that the new tomb will bring further prosperity.  The frightening twist comes when the corpse comes back to life with a foul and vengeful netherworld gang.  Desperately trying to right his wrongs, Master Ko finds himself sinking in deep trouble as apprentice Dan (Ricky Hui) turns into a vampire himself and apprentice Harry (Chin Siu Ho) is reduced to a weak soul possessed by a fierce ghost.

Mr. Vampire is an adventure that is both utterly hilarious and terrifying - its the kind of thrills and spills that action fans have come to love all over the world."

Now, here's where I get all kinds of confuzzled  (Spoiler alert- don't read on if you plan on watching this movie and care if bits are revealed).

1)  They weren't  called vampires in the movie - the badly dubbed voice-overs called them zombies.  They used their ridiculously long peacock blue fingernails to kill by stabbing their victims in the neck - although Dan gets "nailed"... "fingered"?.... in the arms... 

2)  There was no "vengeful netherworld gang".  The mean ol' zombie attacked alone.  The only "gang" of vampires zombies vampires zombies vampires(?) was at the beginning, kept under control by a spell (a sheet of toilet paper (called VooDoo paper!) stuck to their foreheads with magic Chinese characters on it).  They hop.  Did I mention that they hop?  They do.  They don't walk.  They don't run.  They don't fly.  They hop. And in once scene, one couldn't hop high enough to get over a stair and needed a helping hand from Dan.. or Harry.. I can't remember which.

3) The "fierce ghost" was a chick who planned on screwing Harry to death.  What's that old joke?  "Death by Bula Bula!"

4)  I still don't get how the hopping vampires zombies vampires(?) were "merchandise" as referred to by ... the guy who controlled them.  Dunno his name.  He wasn't Master Ko, Dan or Harry.

There is no sex shown.  No real violence, either.  Or blood, guts or gore.  No special effects.  Poor dialogue.  And I loved it.  Laughed my ass off all the way through it.  Definitely a must-see.  I'm loaning our copy to everyone I can.