Judge Not, Lest Ye Be Called in for Jury Duty!

I had the oddest experience a couple of days ago on FrackBook.   

I had just received a notification to come in for Jury Duty.  It was a bit of a surprise.  I have been called in before, but never selected.  I dunno why.  Could be that I wasn't exactly conservatively dressed.  Okay - it was a bustier, but I was wearing a jacket... Could be that, when they asked me to swear on the bible, I told them I would, but that it would mean shit 'cause I'm a Pagan, and swearing on the bible is about as meaningful to me as swearing on a stack of Yellow Pages.  Could be because, as they were asking me questions, I nodded towards the gentleman sitting at the lawyer's table and asked, "Is that the guilty fucker over there?"   - Okay, no.  I was kidding about that last one.  Maybe.

Up here, they're only allowed to call you in every three years.  I receive more requests then that - and then I have to call the Attorney General, explain, and everything is cool.  More than three years have passed this time - so I'm going in.  I would love to be selected.  I'm interested in the process.  But I am also the sole provider for my family, and having to go a few unpaid days would not be good.  Not at all.  It would actually put me in quite a financial bind.  So - I'll go in, but I hope I won't be selected.  And finances are my ONLY reason for not wanting to be part of the process.

I posted "Jury Duty?  Seriously?" on my FrackBook status.  That was it.  I didn't elaborate in the comments. The first response I received shocked me.  And I'll have to admit, it shook me up a bit.  I do not know, to this day, what could possibly cause someone to react with so much hatred towards someone.  How she could have read so much into those three simple words.  

Here was her response to those three words:

• Camie James · 

  I guess if you were ever in trouble you would want someone sitting in the jury box that was too stupid to get out of it? WOW.....I am always amazed at the number of people that think they are too good to help their society maintain a bit of civility. People die every day fighting for the right to vote and be a part of the judicial system.

  Wednesday at 11:14am · 
• Camie James · 

  Maybe it is a good thing you don't serve. I would hate to have someone as ignorant as you judging me.

  Wednesday at 11:15am ·

When one of my friends came to my defense, she was sent a private message in which she was called names and put down - along with MORE insults about me.  

I know that I had "friended" her at some point, so I'm partially responsible for allowing someone that moronic to access my FrackBook page - but seriously - WTH?  I'm really glad I didn't know this person in real life.  She immediately blocked both mine and my friends accounts after her insults, by the way.  I guess she was more than willing to dish it out, but not so willing to accept any consequences.   That's the last time I friend someone just so I'll have more friends that play Zombie Island.  

The way my true friends banded together to come to my defense was very heart-warming, though.  And I thank them all.  Janet, Karen, Kathryn, new friend Dean (also known as PFB), John.   MWAH!  :)

Seriously - what kind of tarftittle fackwagger jumps all over someone they don't even know?!  How miserable must her life be that she has to make three innocent words a cause?  I could have been referring to the movie... in which case, the phrase, "Jury Duty?  Seriously?" would have been perfectly reasonable. 

Mr. Vampire - Its a Love Hate Thing

Recently, at the request of my Darling Fuckpuppet, I saw the movie, Mr. Vampire - starring Lam Ching Ying, Chin Siu Ho and Ricky Hui.  I shit you not.  Ricky.  

The back of the DVD package says, 

"Master Ko (Lam Ching Ying, stuntmaster in Fist of Fury and Enter the Dragon) faces the daunting task of re-burying a rich man's father - in the hope that the new tomb will bring further prosperity.  The frightening twist comes when the corpse comes back to life with a foul and vengeful netherworld gang.  Desperately trying to right his wrongs, Master Ko finds himself sinking in deep trouble as apprentice Dan (Ricky Hui) turns into a vampire himself and apprentice Harry (Chin Siu Ho) is reduced to a weak soul possessed by a fierce ghost.

Mr. Vampire is an adventure that is both utterly hilarious and terrifying - its the kind of thrills and spills that action fans have come to love all over the world."

Now, here's where I get all kinds of confuzzled  (Spoiler alert- don't read on if you plan on watching this movie and care if bits are revealed).

1)  They weren't  called vampires in the movie - the badly dubbed voice-overs called them zombies.  They used their ridiculously long peacock blue fingernails to kill by stabbing their victims in the neck - although Dan gets "nailed"... "fingered"?.... in the arms... 

2)  There was no "vengeful netherworld gang".  The mean ol' zombie attacked alone.  The only "gang" of vampires zombies vampires zombies vampires(?) was at the beginning, kept under control by a spell (a sheet of toilet paper (called VooDoo paper!) stuck to their foreheads with magic Chinese characters on it).  They hop.  Did I mention that they hop?  They do.  They don't walk.  They don't run.  They don't fly.  They hop. And in once scene, one couldn't hop high enough to get over a stair and needed a helping hand from Dan.. or Harry.. I can't remember which.

3) The "fierce ghost" was a chick who planned on screwing Harry to death.  What's that old joke?  "Death by Bula Bula!"

4)  I still don't get how the hopping vampires zombies vampires(?) were "merchandise" as referred to by ... the guy who controlled them.  Dunno his name.  He wasn't Master Ko, Dan or Harry.

There is no sex shown.  No real violence, either.  Or blood, guts or gore.  No special effects.  Poor dialogue.  And I loved it.  Laughed my ass off all the way through it.  Definitely a must-see.  I'm loaning our copy to everyone I can.

No sleep + PMS = What the fuck is everyone staring at?!

I'm usually a happy person.   People describe me as "upbeat", "positive" and ~shudder~  "Perky".  I tend to be giggly with a distinctive dark side.  My favourite description used to date:  "Pink Fluffy Vampire Bunny"... also "Squirrelverine".  

Once every 27 days or so, I tend to be less giggly and more snarly.  I have no patience.  I don't understand why whatever I happen to utter doesn't become immediate law.  Those around me should leave the room, bowing and scraping, to carry out whatever menial tasks I have bestowed upon them.  If I'm feeling extra snarly, a thank you for taking the time to bark out an order in your general direction would not go amiss.

Its not like I'm any more demanding than usual during this time.  My main annoyance is people asking me how I feel about anything.  What I'd like to do - or not do.  Do I want.. blah blah blah... I don't want to make decisions.  I don't want to have a choice.  I couldn't particularly care less about options.  How I feel about almost anything is the same - usually indifference, occasionally utter contempt.  Mostly, I just want to be left alone. 

Today, after getting almost zero sleep last night, I feel exceptionally snarky.  It could be that we finally took our air conditioners out of the window last night - the last in our building to do this... and my body is getting used to having the bedroom at an ungodly temperature of over 65 degrees at night.  Air conditioning should not be removed until the temperature hits below zero.  It could be the peri-menopausal hot flashes - because we all know that on top of a cock-biting uterus that feels like its dragging between one's knees, a little flash of a bazillion degree heat is always fun to add to the mix.  It could be because I couldn't find Dexter on my Rogers on Demand yesterday.  When the hell did that go?!  

I think it might possibly be stress.  I haven't felt this since before I was divorced, so I'm not used to the feeling anymore and I have to analyze it a bit.  But stress just might be it.  

In the meantime, PMS is a reasonable excuse for kicking the odd shin or two, right?  

It shouldn't be illegal to slap someone upside the head if they really, really need it.

Why aren't there tests, exams, or even a pop quiz for people who become parents?  

Pop Quiz:

Question:  You're on public transportation with your three grumpy, bored and tired children after a long day.  One child has just nommed on a pear and is stuck holding the core - so, naturally, he's whining about it - because a) he's a child and b) who wants to be stuck holding a sticky pear core if there's nothing cool you can do with it?

What do you do?

a) take the core, wrap it in a wet-nap that you have in your diaper bag because you also have a child who is stroller age and diaper bag is right there, thus ending the whining.

b) tell your bored, fidgety child to go up to the bus driver the next time the bus stops and ask if he can put it in the garbage, thus ending the whining AND giving the child something to do.

c)  Scream at your kids for acting like kids, bellow like an injured sea cow at them to stop whining and to SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP! at the top of your lungs and don't forget to put them down because they're always doing this and they're irresponsible and they need to start taking responsibility for themselves... 'cause they're ... 5.   

And as a spectator, how do you respond to the Parent Of the Year who answered "c"?

1) Stand around tut-tutting and tsk-tsking while muttering about the offensive, scary beast-mom.

2) Distract the kids while you rip off the scary beast-mom's arm and pummel her about the face and ears with it.

3) Follow her home to discover her address and report her to the Children's Aid. 

Witnessing this situation is bad enough.  Hearing from your significant other that this is a peek into their childhood makes my heart hurt.  

Hug your kids today.  And let them be brats every once in awhile.  Its part of the growing process.

And if you know someone like the scary beast-mom, get her drunk and have her sterilized.  Be proactive.  

You Just Can't Find a Good Dental Plan for a Rattie

We rescue rats.  We're not an official rat rescue, but we adopt where we can, and Toronto Animal Services has us on their call list for any incoming.  We currently have 5 girls and 7 boys.  They are quite awesome.

Today, Fiddle, a seal-point Siamese, is at work with me.  We're waiting for our vet - and awesome woman who makes house calls - or in this case, work calls.  If you're in the Toronto/Barrie/Mississauga area and you need a vet for your exotics (she also deals with birds and reptiles) give her a call.  Dr. Kim Kosari.  647.567.2473.  Tell her you got her number from Trish.

Fiddle has malocclusion.  His teeth are misaligned.  The top teeth look like they're growing in sideways, and we're not sure why.  Dr. Kim is going to come and do some trimming and filing.  Fiddle will be napping throughout the procedure.  

Fiddle is the one in the white fur coat.  The others in this pic are Frog, Fox, Phoenix and Bert.

Fiddle is in a carrier on my desk.  So far, he's stolen a pen, two receipts and about 14 tissues.  If this keeps up, we'll have to have a Hoarders Intervention.  His breakfast was Maple & Sugar Oatmeal and scrambled egg.  He also tried to steal an entire butter tart muffin, but as the muffin was almost the same size as he was, he was unsuccessful.  Catching him in the act also helped foil his plans.  

His day has been quite busy so far.  

The rats (more commonly known as "Da Babiez") will probably be mentioned quite often in this blog - they're always an adventure.  

Headline Quote: "Being Bullied? Just Act Less Gay"

So I'm be-bopping around the interwebs today, and I see this article. According to some teachers, if you're being bullied, you should "just act less gay".

I'm sorry - what the fuck?

The author of the report, Julie Keating, stated there was "anecdotal evidence of students being told to act less gay or to wear their hair differently as teachers felt they were making themselves a target for bullies".

So.. instead of teaching our children tolerance - to be more accepting of one another - to embrace each other's differences - we should be teaching them to conform to the masses - to not act any different than anyone else - to become cookie-cutter images of the person next to us so we can fit in...? Really?

When my son was 4 years old, he asked me if he could get his ear pierced. I told him he had to think about it really hard and if he still wanted one when he was 5, we would have it done. I figured he'd move on to something else. He was 4. And ADHD. How could he possibly remember? And it wasn't because I had anything against pierced ears. If he wanted an earring, I had no issues with that. But I didn't want him to go through a piercing only to change his mind the next week.

On his 5th birthday, he came to me and reminded me of my promise. That weekend, I took him out to have his ear pierced. If he remembered this for months, it had to be important to him.

One of his teachers called me a couple of weeks later. Some of the kids were bugging my son about his "look". My son also had a braid - it had never been cut. The teacher told me that maybe I should consider making him look more like the other kids so he wouldn't end up getting picked on. I told her that maybe she should consider teaching her class about tolerance and to stop being so narrow-minded.

I didn't make a friend that day.

When my son came home, I asked him about it. I asked him if he wanted to cut his hair or remove his earring. But I also told him that he should stand proud for what he believed in. To not let anyone change how he feels about anything because then its no longer what he believes. Its what they believe. Be proud to be an individual. Be proud to stand out in a crowd. And accept everyone else for who they are - whether they stand out or not - because they've made their choices just as he has made his.

My son is now 22 years old. He still has his braid. He still has his original piercings, plus a few others. He has tattoos. He has a "Fro-hawk" (his hair is so curly, its an afro when not cut - so its a fro-hawk :D). He looks completely different than anyone else I know.. and he's proud of his individuality. His friends are a diverse group of people you wouldn't always expect to be part of the same crowd - because he has found like-minded individuals who are just as accepting as he is. He has a job. He's a contributing member of society. He votes and takes a stand in his political beliefs. He has never been arrested been charged come to me for bail money. He has never gotten involved with drugs or gangs.

When you teach your children that others are "different" and wrong because of that difference, you're preaching hate. Don't teach them to conform. Teach them to accept. Teach them love.

My first post in a brand-new blog. :)

A little about me because if you're going to read what goes on in my mind, you'll need to understand me a little - or you're going to get pissed of at me fairly quickly and run away.

Like my profile pic says - I'm not politically correct. I'm not a homophobe (but I am straight). I'm not a racist. I'm not a bigot. But I do make insulting comments, jokes about homosexuality and heterosexuality, racist jokes (including jokes about my own race - which is white, by the way. So white that white people call me Whitey). I don't tell them to offend, or even to shock. I tell them because they're funny. Because everyone has the right to laugh. Because life is way to fucking important to be taken seriously and every once in awhile, we need to remember that. Oh - forgot to mention - I can swear enough to make a trucker blush. ;)

So welcome to my new blog. Feel free to comment. Feel free to disagree. Feel free to speak your mind - but remember - everyone has the right to their own opinion, and everyone has the right to be respected. You may believe that someone is a complete douche for having a different point of view than yours, and if you're going to call them on it - show some respect. That's Ms. Douche to you. ;P