So I'm be-bopping around the interwebs today, and I see this article. According to some teachers, if you're being bullied, you should "just act less gay".
I'm sorry - what the fuck?
The author of the report, Julie Keating, stated there was "anecdotal evidence of students being told to act less gay or to wear their hair differently as teachers felt they were making themselves a target for bullies".
So.. instead of teaching our children tolerance - to be more accepting of one another - to embrace each other's differences - we should be teaching them to conform to the masses - to not act any different than anyone else - to become cookie-cutter images of the person next to us so we can fit in...? Really?
When my son was 4 years old, he asked me if he could get his ear pierced. I told him he had to think about it really hard and if he still wanted one when he was 5, we would have it done. I figured he'd move on to something else. He was 4. And ADHD. How could he possibly remember? And it wasn't because I had anything against pierced ears. If he wanted an earring, I had no issues with that. But I didn't want him to go through a piercing only to change his mind the next week.
On his 5th birthday, he came to me and reminded me of my promise. That weekend, I took him out to have his ear pierced. If he remembered this for months, it had to be important to him.
One of his teachers called me a couple of weeks later. Some of the kids were bugging my son about his "look". My son also had a braid - it had never been cut. The teacher told me that maybe I should consider making him look more like the other kids so he wouldn't end up getting picked on. I told her that maybe she should consider teaching her class about tolerance and to stop being so narrow-minded.
I didn't make a friend that day.
When my son came home, I asked him about it. I asked him if he wanted to cut his hair or remove his earring. But I also told him that he should stand proud for what he believed in. To not let anyone change how he feels about anything because then its no longer what he believes. Its what they believe. Be proud to be an individual. Be proud to stand out in a crowd. And accept everyone else for who they are - whether they stand out or not - because they've made their choices just as he has made his.
My son is now 22 years old. He still has his braid. He still has his original piercings, plus a few others. He has tattoos. He has a "Fro-hawk" (his hair is so curly, its an afro when not cut - so its a fro-hawk :D). He looks completely different than anyone else I know.. and he's proud of his individuality. His friends are a diverse group of people you wouldn't always expect to be part of the same crowd - because he has found like-minded individuals who are just as accepting as he is. He has a job. He's a contributing member of society. He votes and takes a stand in his political beliefs. He has never been arrested been charged come to me for bail money. He has never gotten involved with drugs or gangs.
When you teach your children that others are "different" and wrong because of that difference, you're preaching hate. Don't teach them to conform. Teach them to accept. Teach them love.
